December was busy…so here’s a summary

This last month was a complete blur. I just realized that I have posted only two other times this month and this third time on the last day of the month, with just about an hour left. Perhaps I should make a New Year’s Resolution of posting more regularly. It’s not that I don’t want too, rather I am always thinking of all the stories that I need to share. It’s just that some months, life gets the best of you and December was one of those months for me. From the time Thanksgiving hit, the next several weeks were frantic with decorating for Christmas, parties, shopping, baking, and holiday outings to see a play (Peter Pan), Christmas in the Park and Fantasy of Lights. And the many, many, many evening drives around the neighborhood to look at the festive holiday lights. And let’s not forget our usual schedule of school, dance, therapy sessions and an extremely busy husband whose bum got pretty tired of sitting on a plane. In a matter of two weeks, he was in four different time-zones and I don’t mean the four in the United States. I am not sure how he does it or how he keeps it together, as from the moment he walks in the door, he is attacked by two little girls who don’t leave his side, not even for a nap. And of course, I take full advantage of it and try to sleep a little more. I truly admire and respect my husband, for not once have I ever heard a complaint about not getting that much-needed nap.

Our annual tradition of cutting down our Christmas Tree

All dressed up for the theater

Despite the craziness, December was good overall and we were truly blessed at Christmas. The girls each performed in their school’s Christmas performance. Both were one of the loudest in their class, singing their hearts out. I was extremely proud of Vanessa for sitting up on the stage with her class and singing her heart out. She remembered most of the words and sang them mostly at the appropriate times. Santa visited after each performance, which meant that they were lucky to have two visits with him this year. During the first visit, rather than ask for her favorite toys, Katelyn decided to have a conversation with Santa about his reindeers and where they were when he was inside visiting with the children. Santa did a great job of playing along with a very inquisitive four-year-old. Vanessa was just stunned that she was sitting on his lap, so didn’t say a word. By the time the second visit came, Katelyn realized that this was her opportunity to ask for those special things on her list.

We were able to see a lot of family this year and the girls were loved on by many. It was interesting to watch the differences between the girls in how they act during this time of year. And granted, some of it is age differences, but some of it is just personality differences. For example, Vanessa would take her time opening a present, ripping at little paper as possible. Katelyn would be handed the gift and within 15 seconds, had the entire gift unwrapped and was working on opening the box too. And Vanessa would have been satisfied with just one or two gifts, but Katelyn loved the (what seemed like an endless supply of) gifts. However what was special this year was realizing how much Katelyn is really starting to understand why we have Christmas, what we are truly celebrating and the true meaning of this holiday.
All smiles for Santa

December was a big month for Bill and me, as we took the plunge and bought some new furniture. Except for a crib and a dresser five years ago when Katelyn was born, we have not bought much new furniture. It was always something we wanted to do, yet never was high on our priority list. But the day finally came when, after sitting on our old couch, we both decided that we needed to take the next step. You know when you sit on the couch and you end up just a foot off of the ground…it’s time to invest in something new. Most of the furniture we have in our home was given to us, and many years old at that time. Our couch, for instance, was at least 15 years old (according to Bill 10, according to me 20…so 15 is a compromise) and we have had it almost 10 years ourselves. It was old and falling apart. We are very excited with our new purchases and are enjoying rearranging that room and feeling good about the way it is all coming together.
Christmas Morning

The days since Christmas have been spent at home…which is rather odd since it is not often that all four of us are home for more than a day together. Bill has spent the mornings playing with the girls while I sleep in a bit. We made our to-do list of projects we wanted to accomplish around here and have been working furiously to cross out as many of them as possible before we head back to our “normal” lives next week. And even though the baby is not due for a few more months, we are starting to clean out the bedroom, which leads us to do several other projects first. Sometimes, I feel like a dog chasing his own tail, because in order to finish one project, you have to do something else, and do something else and do something else. Slowly, but surly, we are making progress however.

As for baby news…I am 20 weeks and sporting a bump. The nausea has subsided for the most part, but the headaches are still there. About two weeks before Christmas, I was able to start feeling the baby move inside. And just in the last few days, the movements have become much stronger to the point where I think I have begun to feel them on the outside. But because the kicks/movements are so strong on the inside, sometimes I think my mind is playing games with me and I am not really feeling them on the outside, but sense that I do only because I can feel them strongly inside. Make sense? Regardless, the baby is healthy and growing.

And so here I sit on the eve of a new year, not at some fancy party, not dressed up, not sipping a tasty beverage. But rather, at home with my husband listening to the peace and quiet of two sleeping princesses, wearing pj and drinking ice-cold water. No, we are not relaxing on the new couch, but reorganizing the desk and rewiring the computer. We live an exciting life, don’t we?

She is my funny one...

Yes, that is Vanessa.

A shift in my nightly habits

I had a doctor’s appointment this past Monday, something that seems to be a weekly outing now. Since I have been so sick with this pregnancy, my doctor has been monitoring me more closely than normal, resulting in a doctor’s appointment every two weeks. However good news came in on Monday…I gained a pound and I don’t have to go back in for another four weeks. Even though I feel as if I have gained 10 pounds by now and have a small baby bump to show, the scale doesn’t agree. I am hoping that my nausea will continue to subside, as it has been over the recent weeks. Instead of it being a daily occurrence, actually more like several times per day, I may only get sick a few times per week. To me, this is a huge improvement, but then again I am 16 weeks and it’s about time, if you ask me. With Katelyn, I felt more nauseous than I actually physically got ill. But with Vanessa, I was horribly sick until around 17 or 18 weeks. So, I guess this baby is trying to keep up with his/her older sister…maybe it is trying to prove something already!

However, as my nausea seems to decrease, my headaches increase. And I don’t get just “normal” headaches, I get migraines. And then the “day after a migraine” headache too. It is just no fun, that is for sure. I was talking with my doctor about my headaches and she advised me to try to limit my stress, take naps, put my feet up and get massages. Umm, is she serious? I have an active two and four year old to run after. Maybe if I had a full-time nanny, all that would be possible. But I don’t. For some reason, I haven’t won the lottery yet. I wonder why? Oh ya, I would have to play it first. And she knows what my husband does for a living, so my response is more along the lines of a bigger “when pigs fly” I’ll be able to do those things. Bill is wonderful with the girls and will take them when he can, but that’s just it…he cannot take them on an airplane with him, no matter how much they would love to be with Daddy 24/7.

So my solution? To live life during the days and then to turn into bed shortly after the girls are asleep. I don’t think I can remember the last time I routinely went to bed between 8:00 PM and 9:00 PM. And no, my house is not picked up. Nor are the dishes done. Nor the laundry. Nor is the trashed emptied. Nor am I caught up on my e-mail. Nor are the piles of mail sorted. But whatever, it will all be there tomorrow and the day after and the day after.

Arriving May 2009

Visiting the Magic

We were recently fortunate to be able to spend a week with my side of the family at Disneyland. This was my sister-in-law Jennifer’s dream trip and it was so exciting to watch as my family pulled together to make it happen. My sister and her husband flew in from Germany for the week, making it even more special and memorable. This was the girls’ first experience in “The Happiest Place on Earth” and they loved every minute of it. Although it took them a week to catch up on their sleep and another week to get over a stomach bug Vanessa brought home and shared with us, it wasn’t something we were going to miss.

With the generosity of some very special individuals, we were given VIP treatment throughout our entire trip. I never knew how special the magic of Disneyland really was, until this week. The outpouring of love and friendship and unconditional generosity of all of the Disney employees was truly inspiring. We met many individuals who had been working for Disney for decades; something in today’s world that is unheard of. But once you’ve seen the magic, there is no question why people stay.

I have over 1000 pictures to sort through, so it might take me a while to get them organized! But I did try to glance over them and found some of the most memorable ones. Our private meetings with some of the characters defiantly brought a smile to our faces, as the friendly hugs all made us feel young-at-heart again.

We met with Mickey Mouse…

And Snow White…
and Winnie the Pooh and his friends Tigger and Eeyore.
Special reserved seating for the parade was wonderful, as we didn’t have to fight to save our seats. We were given a private tour of the Dream Suite, a suite within the park itself given away to one very luck guest and their family nightly. The suite is over 2000 square feet and there was magic, literally, in every corner….and I am not talking about a magician performing. Riding the Lily Bell was special and made us feel like royalty, especially after hearing the names of some of the previous visitors, such as former presidents. And of course, what Disneyland experience would not be complete without the thrill of the rides! Since our world revolves around a 2 and 4 year old, we spent a lot of time in Fantasyland, although both girls were becoming very good drivers at Autopia in Tomorrowland. It was truly a magical week, one that will not be forgotten anytime soon.

Happy Halloween...only a week and a half late!

We carved pumpkins for Halloween, just as we do every year. This was the first year, however, that Katelyn wanted to transform her pumpkin by herself.
She drew the pumpkin’s face and then carved it all by herself. She was hesitant using her hands to scoop out the insides, often insisting that it was gross and didn’t want to get her hands dirty. So she found a spoon to use and continued on her way. Her completed pumpkin was very impressive and she was so proud of her artwork, as were we. I loved watching her use her imagination and capturing some of the best facial expressions I’ve seen.

Katelyn’s pumpkin is on the top row, second from the right. Notice the small triangles above the eyes? Hair. Yes, this pumpkin had all the features of a regular human’s head.
Vanessa's desire to carve her pumpkin lasted just a few minutes, espeically after she stuck her hand insided the pumpkin...then, she wanted nothing else to do with it.

And on the actual day of Halloween, the girls had so much fun dressing up and helping me pass out candy. Katelyn was a ghost and Vanessa was a dog.

Let there be COLOR!

Fall is here! It has been snowing leaves in our neighborhood for a little while now. It is beautiful, especially the trees that are “on fire”. Even though we do not get all four seasons as well-defined as some areas of the country, we do get to experience a modified version of them.

As I sit here now, I am looking out my living room window at a tree in my neighbor’s yard. This tree is stunning and has been beautiful to watch as it transforms its leaves from bright green to beautiful shades of orange, red and yellow. Soon, this tree will become bare, but while I can, I am soaking in the color and warmth it provides.

Beautiful, regardless if it looks broken

Vanessa: “Uh, oh, broken” while pointing up at the night’s sky.

Me: “What’s broken?” I asked while looking up to see what she was talking about.

Vanessa: “Moon broken.”

Me: “What do you mean the moon is broken?”

Vanessa: “No other half.”

We were looking at a half moon. We, as probably most families do, make a big deal about the full moon. At its fullness, it is bright, very large and round…perfect. But we hardly make a big fuss out of any of the other moon’s phases, as they are just not as impressive. But on this night, Vanessa pointed out how beautiful it can be, in any of its phases, even if it is not perfect.

Making wonderful progress

Vanessa has been in school for a few weeks now, although given that she only goes twice a week, it has really only been a few handful of days that she has actually attended. When she started, I was nervous, truthfully extremely nervous, about how she will transition into the classroom. Separation from me is a challenge for her, although she is now capable of it with several individuals. There were months of her life where I thought that she was never going to leave my side; that the umbilical cord wasn’t ever cut in the hospital. Attending therapy has really done wonders for her in this area. And I truly have to give her OT a huge amount of credit for working with Vanessa on separation. Of course, Vanessa took to her OT as her second mom, but they are now working on that too. I pictured the separation at school to be similar to how she first began separation for her sessions…lots and lots of tears. But I think something has changed with her through the process of separating for her sessions…she has learned that Mommy does come back.

When I drop her off at school, we slowly walk in to the classroom together, usually holding hands. I refuse to carry her, but I will hold her hand. And I let her walk in at her own pace. So even if we actually get to the school parking lot on time, we are always late arriving into the classroom because it can take us a long time to make it from the car to the classroom. It’s like trying to hurry a turtle…it just doesn’t happen. And I don’t push her along, or try to rush her, because then it adds to her anxiety and I am trying to keep that low on those school mornings since she knows she has to cope without me being there.

Once in the classroom, we walk over to her picture schedule and we talk about Mommy coming back at playground time. We look at all of the fun activities that she will do before Mommy comes back. Then she gives me a big hug and a kiss, reminds me that she wants a red lollipop, and out the door I go. The first few days I stayed the entire time; then I stayed for a little bit in the beginning of the morning and came back early before school was over. And now, I am able to leave her the entire time. This is a miracle in itself!

She is able to hold herself together the entire time at school. She relies on her thumb for comfort, a habit that we’ll work on breaking later, and will seek out a teacher if she needs some extra attention. Arriving at home is still a challenge and will often result in a meltdown within several minutes of walking in the door. But who can blame her? She worked so hard to keep her emotional level intact for two and a half hours that she deserves to let it go. Picking up the pieces is tiring, especially since I know it is going to happen every time after school. But I can usually give her some snuggles and extra love and fill her tank back up.

Blows way past her mother's ability

For me, puzzles are a challenge; they take me forever, I have to use the picture on the box as a reference the entire time, and eventually I just lose my patience. So I just don’t do them very often. And I am not even talking 1000-piece adult puzzles, but 100-piece children’s puzzles too. When I do a puzzle, I start by finding all of the edge pieces and then randomly pick-and-choose pieces until I find their place. I thought that this is how everyone does a puzzle.

Apparently not.

Katelyn was working on a puzzle of the United States today. This one, I feel, is much more complicated than a traditional puzzle, since only the edge pieces inter-lock and the middle pieces just line up next to each other. She has completed this puzzle only a handful of times before, and she is only four, so what are the odds that she would be able to finish this entire puzzle of the United States without the picture?

Apparently pretty good.

It was absolutely amazing to watch her compete this puzzle. The box sat with me the entire time, so I know she wasn’t looking at the picture. And no, we have not forced her to memorize each state’s location.

Then, she went on to do a large 100-piece puzzle, with a beautiful sea life picture. Watching her do this puzzle was just fascinating. She completed it row-by-row, usually starting out at the top, working her way down. She can see a piece and knows exactly where it fits. She has memorized “its place” among the entire puzzle, even after completing the puzzle just one time.

Photographic memory perhaps?

Katelyn is --this-- close to reading

We have a bunch of magnetic letters that decorate the front of our refrigerator. The girls have only casually played with them, but I have refused to put them away for the fear that they’ll miss them or someday become excited about putting letters together to form words. Well, that day has come for Katelyn. She and I were standing in the kitchen and I put three letters together “c-a-t”. She looked at it and read “cat” out loud. So for the next several minutes, she and I played together with the letters. I would make three letter words and she would sound each letter out and then form the word. She read about a dozen words before she got bored. WOW! She has always loved books, but has never been interested in reading them herself. I’ve tried to have her sound out words before, but there has been very little interest. So I back off and figure that she’ll read – or at least have interest in learning to read – when she is ready. It’s like forcing your child to be potty trained when they just are not ready. But then something clicks one day and they are eager to use the big potty. For Katelyn, something has clicked and she is excited now about letters, the sounds that they make and the words that she can read when she puts those sounds together.

Costco is to me like oil is to vinegar

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I the lone soldier out there that does not have an unconditional love for this store? I am completely perplexed by the world’s infatuation with this “shopping wonderland”. Really, can you use that entire four-pound jar of mayo before it expires? And only if you are serving hot dogs to 1000 people can you use up all three bottles of ketchup you are forced to buy.

A shopping trip should be relaxing, rather than stress-field, as you try to avoid those huge carts as they come straight at you or stop suddenly in front of you. Yes, those big carts, the ones that are so big they could hold a SMART car. And what happens if they move an item? Oh, now you’re screwed. Now, they’ve got you for an extra thirty minutes trapped in their “wonderland” as you search up and down every aisle trying to locate your item. Is there anyone you can quickly turn to for some exceptional customer service? Nope. Inevitably though, as you are standing in a checkout line of ten people deep, you see a gentleman unloading that specific item you searched unsuccessfully for, only to run up to him, beg him to tell you where he found it. Dilemma hits – do you run back and find that obscurely hidden item, losing your place in line; or do you forgot about it knowing that you’ll look for it on your next shopping trip, only to discover that the helpful customer service personal have moved it again.

But you know, they have us wrapped around their golden little finger. They know we’ll wait in line or spend two hours searching for the items on our list, always buying more than the actual number of items you came in the store for. Those impulse buys – “this is the best deal of the century” or “look at how this works – it’s amazing” or “we could really use this” -- those “super buys” – always make you drop more change than you saved.

Who really wants to spend their Saturday working-out? After all, pushing a cart that weighs the equivalent of three football players and loading and unloading and loading and unloading pounds is going to build some body muscle. For me, I like to go when I want to go, but since this store closes before the sun sets, they force you to go when it is probably the most inconvenient. I like to have the option to shop when the moon is up if I want or before it’s time for lunch.

I know you can save some money and it is convenient to purchase milk by the truck load and cases of diapers, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’ll probably be visiting Costco next week and for the weeks to come until we are empty-nesters. On second-thought, perhaps it’s a good thing that I can purchase alcohol there in bulk. :-)

We'll be eating them for the next week

It was Katelyn’s turn to bring snack to share with her class. And along with the responsibility of bringing snack, the child gets to be “soap monitor” when it is hand washing time before they eat. For those without a four-year old, this is a HUGE privilege; one that makes her feel special, like she is the center of the universe, even if only for a few hours while at school. And when everyone sits down to eat, the class says “Thank You Katelyn” all together, adding to her already exploding pride.

When she woke up, she reminded me that this was “her” day for snack. She promptly informed me that she wanted to bring heart-shaped PB&J sandwiches, carrots and dip and water. Sure, no problem…the sandwiches might take awhile to make, but since she had her heart set on bring this meal, I decided that we could do this. We were not informed that any of these items were off limits, so assumed we were a “go”.

When I picked her up from school, I asked for my serving tray. I was informed that it was in the office, along with all fifty-thousand heart-shaped sandwiches. They decided not to serve them to the children because there is one little girl who is allergic. And because she is, the entire class only had carrots and water.

OK, so here is my issue…why should the entire class have to suffer because one child cannot eat the snack? If we were informed beforehand of items we could not bring, I would have never brought all of these sandwiches, nor spent the time making them. The school has a list of allergies in each class – they have had this information for almost three weeks now – so they cannot say they didn’t have the proper information to inform the parents before the snack schedule got underway. And what would be the difference if my child had an allergy to water…should none of the children be allowed to drink water throughout the day? Please don’t take me wrong, I am not against a child who has some special needs – whether food or physical or mental - heck, I have a child of needs myself. But, my frustration comes making the entire class suffer because of one. Perhaps this child could bring her own snack so she always has something to eat. Or perhaps a list of “do not bring” food items should have been sent out weeks ago.

What I am most saddened by is how this entire incident made Katelyn feel. She felt as if she had done something wrong, and that is why they didn’t serve her entire meal. They did tell her the true reason, but does that really make sense to a young child? Can they comprehend the entire class’ suffering because of one person? It goes back to the “It’s not fair” scenario, where one sibling doesn’t get to have that extra treat because their sibling didn’t follow the rules. They feel just as punished as their sibling, even though he/she was not at fault. Katelyn told me she had a not-so-good day when I picked her up, and subsequently found out why. What a way to stomp on the parade and let out all the excitement of this four-year-old.

Next snack opportunity, we’ll be bringing water…only.

Another cheerful rendition of “It’s the first day of school, HOORAY!” rang through our home this morning

This was Katelyn’s day! She is in a Pre-K class at the same school she has attended the previous two years. She loves school – everything from the social aspect (she is my social butterfly), the art jobs (particularly painting – you should see some of the masterpieces she comes home with), to the academic jobs (she has a love of learning). She has always looked forward to going to school; has never been afraid or nervous to go, ever since day one. And since she is so familiar with the school and teachers, this was like second-nature for her.
Last night she picked out her special first day outfit, although this morning it was very cold here so we had to adjust it a little. We took a picnic lunch to the school’s playground before class started, which was a nice and relaxing way of working her back into the classroom. Daddy left before the sun was up this morning, but surprised Katelyn at school so he could wish her luck on her first day. As she walked into her class, she was grinning ear-to-ear.
When I picked her up, all she could tell me about her first day was that she painted and made a new friend, Bella. I think the excitement of getting back into school and making new friends was a bit overwhelming – not in a bad way, but just a lot to process. We celebrated tonight over sushi, probably her favorite food. Yes, a four year old eating sushi…with chop-sticks. She is almost as good as her dad with the chop-sticks and since he could live off of sushi (and pizza), he’s pretty good (at least for a non-Asian person). She is excited to learn new things and make new relationships. I’m excited to see her thrive and blossom into the remarkable girl she is becoming.

All morning, we sang "It's the first day of school, HOORAY!"

Summer is over for us now, as school starts back up this week. It’s time to get back into a routine, which can be comforting. This is an exciting week, especially since Vanessa starts preschool. She will be at the same school Katelyn had previously attended, so is familiar with the school grounds, especially the playground. Since I don’t work outside of the home, it is not necessary that I have her enrolled in a class, however building her social cognitive skills are extremely important for her and what a better way than with other children her own age in a typical preschool setting. The next several months will bring a lot of transition for Vanessa and being involved in a classroom setting will provide us with a lot of information. She currently is in a small group at the clinic, but there are 5 children with 3 adults, and with a lot of visual support. Her school doesn’t have a terrible ratio of teacher-to-student; in fact, it is one of the best in the area. But school is different; there are more rules, more structure, and more time needed to pay attention. So in many ways, attending school is a test on how well she can transition into the classroom, information that will hopefully be beneficial in the upcoming months. Yesterday morning, the girls’ school was having a meet-n-greet, where you can come see your child’s classroom and meet the teachers. Katelyn and I took Vanessa and she was interested and seemed happy. She moved among the classroom, even leaving my side. But once we arrived back at home, she just couldn’t control her emotions anymore and had a full melt-down on the porch. She had reached her limit. I began to second-guess my decision about enrolling her and wondered if we’ll have this type of melt-down after school often. It is nothing that I am not familiar with, she would have these melt-down when a new speech or OT session was added or the therapist would change. So I am use to picking up the pieces. We started talking to Vanessa about attending school a few weeks back. I took her shoe shopping, bought a few new outfits, built up the excitement of going to school. Before bed, she picked out her outfit – a cute new denim dress with daisies and white sandals. She seemed to have recovered from the stress of the morning, so I was feeling hopeful (although still nervous) about today’s activity.
Class today was shortened to only one hour, Vanessa’s thresh hold anyways, so that was perfect. She was a little hesitant going in through the gate, but I reassured her that I was staying with her and we were going to have fun. We sat together during story time and then I moved to the side so she could get involved without me. She checked a few times to make sure I had not left, but otherwise, played very well by herself. I am relieved that today went smoothly and hopefully we can transition her staying there longer by herself and me staying less. We went to lunch – her choice, McDonald’s – and she conked out on the way home. This is going to be an adventure, one that is influenced by so many factors, and one that we’ll have to take day-by-day. I can only pray that she enjoys it and that there are more smiles and less tears.

Making smores over an outdoor firepit adds to the memories

Our doorbell has rung a lot this summer. It’s always the group of kids from the block asking if Katelyn and Vanessa can play outside. YES, of course they can! So the girls would join in on the fun, usually a game of tag or hind-n-seek or riding bikes. They would play until they were exhausted and dirty, just in time for dinner, bath and bed.

You see, this is a big deal to me. Our street is made up of all boys, ranging in ages 5-12. Actually, there are two families with girls just around my children’s ages and a few years older, but they never come outside to play. I’m not sure what is up with that – maybe it’s the personality of the family, perhaps their children just don’t like hind-n-seek as much as mine do.

So the boys on the block play like…well, um, boys. And it’s usually very different than how girls play. However, we have been spending a lot of time outside this summer and the boys have gotten to know Katelyn and Vanessa better and know that these girls enjoy digging for worms as much as they do.

I am always nervous when the girls are outside playing, especially since all of the other children ride their bikes without helmets up and down the center of the street. That may be fine for their family, but it is not acceptable in ours – helmets must be on and you must be on the sidewalk (at least when you are as young as my children are). I am so mean, I know. Anyways, I am always more nervous than I probably ever need to be, but I always wonder how a group of boys is going to play with two younger girls. But amazingly, every time this group gets together, it is as if each one of these boys (the older ones particularly) come from a home with younger sisters and are familiar with “girl” play. But that is not true; each one comes from a family of all boys. In many ways, they’ve adopted Katelyn and Vanessa as their younger sisters and are always watching out for them. They know that playing “cops and robbers” with toy guns is not acceptable in our family, so they’ll switch the game just so Katelyn and Vanessa can be included.

I grew up on a cul-de-sac with approximately 30 children. We were always outside playing together and it did not matter if you were the oldest in the group or the youngest, a boy or a girl…everyone played together. Watching my girls play outside reminds me of many summer days as a child myself. And I know the memories that I have from my childhood and couldn’t be happier that my children get to experience similar, and make their own, fond memories.

My husband will thank me

In case you haven’t noticed, I added a new feature to the site recently. You can now receive postings via e-mail. It’s actually a rather cool gadget, because you won’t have to remember to visit One Family’s Journey only to realize that you haven’t visited in a few weeks and now have a bunch of reading to catch up on (that is assuming that I am current and regular on postings!). By receiving these updates, every time there is a new post to the site, you will receive an e-mail advising you of the new addition, including the actual post and a direct link to One Family’s Journey and previous postings. It’s very convenient, and extremely simple, to use. To active this features, enter your e-mail address in the box located in the right-hand side-bar. All e-mails will come from FeedBlitz, listing the subject of One Family’s Journey (so you don’t begin to wonder – Who’s FeedBlitz and why are they in my inbox?). I hope I just made your day a little bit easier.

Powerful

I was watching Akeelah and the Bee the other day and was pleasantly surprised when one of my favorite quotes by Marianne Williamson appeared in the movie. A special friend shared this quote with me many months ago and I have it saved on my laptop so that I can refer back to it often, as well as it posted on my refrigerator. For a little while, I had it posted here on this site, but took it down. Not sure why I did that, perhaps I was cleaning "house". But I think it deserves to be posted here, so you will notice that I have found a home again for it here.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world..."

Novels worth of memories we've made

It was seven years ago tonight that Bill and I stood before our family and friends and committed our lives together. Since that day, we have been on a non-stop roller-coaster, with lots of ups and lots of downs. But isn’t that what life is about? After all, it’s about the journey that we are on as a couple and the family that we have made together. If that is not true, then I better change my Blog’s title! And it’s about the commitment we made to stay on this journey together. It would be nearly impossible to sum up our adventures in one short paragraph, and what I could say would not do justice for the memories that we each have stored.

I was explaining to Katelyn why today was special in Mommy and Daddy’s life. She is familiar with the concept of weddings, after all, Cinderella gets married and everyone lives like Cinderella, don’t they? Ok, maybe not. But they, Katelyn and Vanessa, were in my sister’s wedding a few months back and when Laura told Katelyn that she was getting married, Katelyn’s first response was, “Like Cinderella!” I told Katelyn that I would show her our wedding pictures. That didn’t happen today as we were busy re-caulking the shower, switching out our homes’ door hardware, catching up on loads of laundry, attending a reenactment of the circus (the girls pretended to be in the circus and put on a show for Bill and I, complete with risky trapeze moves off of the swing in the family room and several somersaults), playing with the boys on the block, and taking a much-needed nap for all. Nice romantic day. We were married before the era of digital photography and its commonplace at weddings, or in everyday life for that matter. Instead of my wedding pictures sitting inside my computer, they sit inside of an album in my china cabinet. I cannot even post them for you to see, as I would have to scan them first, which I will probably do someday, but just haven’t gotten around to it. Just picture us seven years younger, filled with the excitement of life, a few pounds thinner, a few less wrinkles, and without the sleep-deprived bags under our eyes.

"The Greatest Show on Earth"...or something like that

My sister-in-law Jennifer and I took the girls to the Circus this weekend. It was a new experience for all of us, although my mom tells me that I went when I was very little and since I have no memory of that joyous event, I am considering this my first Circus. I know Vanessa won’t remember much of it and Katelyn will only remember her favorite parts, but exposing my children to the vast world is something that I am striving to accomplish as a mother. I look back at our outings and activities this summer and can almost see the memories forming in the girls’ hearts and hear their minds trying to understand the world around them. And the Circus was just another avenue of, well...fun, laughter, silliness and risk taking. On the way home, I asked the girls what their favorite part of the performance was. Katelyn thought that the man walking upside-down hooking his feet into loops hanging from a beam high in the ceiling was cool – although she was a little concerned because he didn’t have a net or rope attached, so what would happen if he fell? Good question and one that I avoided to answer truthfully. And her second favorite part is also Vanessa’s favorite…the elephants. Not just the elephants, but what they were doing. Pooping. And peeing. On the show’s floor. And then one sat in it, which just got the girls into hysterics. Bodily functions of animals…what a precious memory we made together that night!

Morning Laugh

This morning when we were starting to think about breakfast, Bill asked the girls “How do waffles and sausage sound?”

“Daddy, they don’t make any sounds” Katelyn promptly responded.

Nothing like child-like innocence to put a smile on your face.

Blinking lights, bumps, neon signs...something!

The girls, Riley (our dog) and I took a walk to our local park. This is not something out of the ordinary, so we are all familiar with the rules: ears on, stop at all corners and do not cross a street without Mom next to you. Katelyn leads the way on her bike wearing her bright pink helmet, with Vanessa following on her tricycle sporting her yellow helmet and Riley and I bring up the rear. We are fortunate enough that from our house to the park, we only have to cross residential streets. We cross from corner to corner, handicap ramp to handicap ramp.

As we were crossing the other day, I checked to make sure that there were no cars in sight. We started to cross and were perhaps about half way when a car started to come down the road. No problem, right? We are a good several hundred feet in front of them – they can see us and slow down to let us finish crossing. Katelyn had safely crossed when Vanessa got stuck trying to cross. By this point, the car is coming at us very fast and not slowing down. CRAP! I have one child on one side of the street, the other is stuck and I’m going to be taken out by this oncoming car. I hold up my hand, as if I was some cross-walk guard (without my neon vest) and start yelling at the car to “STOP”. Nope, not happening. “STOP!…STOP!!…STOP!!!”. At this point, he starts to maneuver to drive around me, so that he wouldn’t have to slow down. I step over to block him, because after all, we are in the middle of the road and if he tried to go around me and didn’t gauge correctly, he would have hit Katelyn. And don’t forget, I have Vanessa sitting about two feet from the ground on my other side, so I was terrified that the driver wouldn’t even look for her.

I finally got him to stop, after several “choice” words in my head. I really wanted to tell him off and yell everything in my head out-loud to him, but what kind of example would I be setting for my girls. And talk about a vocabulary for them too! They would have learned several new words if I had made that decision. And furthermore, if the driver had decided to get out of his car to confront me, what kind of place would I have been in to safely protect my girls and me. Perhaps Riley would have helped defend us – actually, I know he would have, especially if I started to scream. But I really didn’t want to go down that path.

We finished our walk around the park, with me fuming the entire time. Since then, I have made contact with my representative from the Department of Transportation with the goal of getting a cross walk, and perhaps blinking lights, in efforts to make sure that others visiting the park can do so safely and perhaps drivers will slow down in that area. Personally, I would love several speed bumps on this road too, as obviously this driver was going too fast if he was able to get from one end to the other end on this long street before we crossed (and he wasn’t even on the street when we entered).

I am anxious to see my tax dollars at work.

Enjoying Summer Playtime

Our doorbell rang and it was a group of kids from the block asking if Katelyn and Vanessa can join them outside to play. YES, of course they can! The girls joined the group, a group of all boys by the way, outside for a game of tag and a few rounds of hide-n-seek. They were so tired by the evening, after the constant running and laughing all afternoon long.

You see, this was is a big deal for me. Our street is made up of all boys, ranging in age from 5 to 12. Actually, there are two families with girls just around my girls’ ages and a few years older, but they never come outside to play. I’m not sure what’s up with that – maybe it’s the personality of the family, perhaps their kid’s just don’t like hind-n-seek as much as mine do.

So the boys on our block play like…well, um, boys. And it’s usually very different than how girls play. However, we’ve been spending a lot of time outside this summer and the boys have gotten to know Katelyn and Vanessa better and know that these girls enjoying digging for worms as much as they do.

Bill and I recently cut down the 50 foot tree in our front yard. We did not want to remove the tree, but it has been causing sidewalk damage, plus it sits, rather, sat, atop of the main water and sewer lines to our home. Therefore, since we’ve had problems inside our home in these areas previously, we are guessing the tree roots are invading the pipes. We talked to several arborists and each one said that as soon as we trim the roots enabling us to repair the sidewalk, the tree will die from a form of root rot and shock which this tree is prone too. We were really left with no option. We applied for a permit to remove the tree, along with a permit to repair the sidewalk. As homeowners, you are responsible for all maintenance starting at the street, including city trees and city sidewalk. And of course, you cannot just fix these things on your own…you have to apply for a permit, do all work to city specs and then have all work approved upon completion. It’s rather a cumbersome process, for which you are paying entirely out of your pocket for.

While we were outside cutting down the tree, we had everyone on our block out watching, encouraging and gasping as we cut the tree down. By the late afternoon, all of the kids ended up in our front yard playing in a small portable pool we had set up on the front lawn. The older boys took charge and made sure no one got hurt and that everyone had a turn. They watched out for Vanessa, the littlest of the group, making sure she felt included. I was a little nervous about how the group of young boys was going to play with two small girls. But they, especially the older ones, were amazing…almost as if each of the families that these boys belong to have younger sister siblings to watch out for. None of them do – they each come from families of all boys. It was as if they’ve adopted Katelyn and Vanessa as their younger sisters and they are playing the older protective brother role. I grew up on a block with at least 25 children around the same age, so watching my own children play a game of tag outside brings back such warm wonderful memories, the kind that you always hope your own children would get to experience.

No matter how much you shelter (or protect) them, they still learn it

Vanessa has a Little Tikes’ Coupe Car. You know this one…












Well, anyways, the girls love to drive it around the house. Often times, they are schmoosed into the seat together or one is driving and the other is hanging off the roof on the outside, like catching a free ride. When just one of them is driving, they take turns and are pretty good about sharing driving opportunities.

Usually.

The other day, Vanessa was driving her car and Katelyn asked if she could have a turn. Vanessa told her “no” and that she was still driving somewhere. Where? I have no idea, but somewhere very important apparently. Katelyn was not satisfied with Vanessa’s response. In frustration, she walked up to the side of the car and kicked the driver’s side door. Vanessa stopped the car in mid-push and threw open the door. With a look of pure anger, she ran after Katelyn with her arms in the air, and if words would have been permitted, she would have probably been yelling something like, “How dare you kick my car! Now, I’m going to hurt you!”

True road rage.

Now, let me clarify a few things here. My children do not watch television. Yes, the occasional parent-censored DVD, but not traditional television where you would expect children to learn about such acts of violence.

And no, neither Bill nor I have ever chased after someone in anger…maybe a few choice words, but never physical violence.

A reason to eat cake

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!

We love you!

I'm still finding sand!

We went to the beach one day last week to avoid the heat. This was the first ocean-beach experience the girls have had and they were just thrilled to experience something new! The sand at the beach is soft, more like playground sand, compared to the rocky beaches the girls are familiar with at Tahoe. Katelyn ran across the sand barefoot shouting “this is cool” and ended up covered head-to-toe with sand. Two baths later, we still found sand on her! I was a little nervous as to how Vanessa would take to the sand, as she hates to even have her hands dirty and now I am making her walk in it. Well, I was so wrong. She totally surprised me and loved the sand. At one point, she was laying and rolling in it, with a big grin on her face.

I have always been a little hesitant taking the girls to the beach, because usually it’s just me and the girls on our day adventures and I only have one set of eyes to watch both girls and there is an enormous body of water at the beach that can easily take over a small child. Maybe I am a paranoid mom, but too often we hear about horrific, yet preventable, accidents involving children and water. There is a reason we have two locks and a child-safe gate before one can even get into our pool area at home. But then again, my children were the only ones on the beach wearing sun-shirts and hats, even though it was over-cast out (but that’s when you can get the worst sun-burns!).

We had a wonderful day, ending with a stop to treat ourselves to some ice cream before heading home. I am so glad we ventured out to try something new and enjoyed our time together.

A few thoughts

Even with the outside temperatures hovering around 100 degrees, my girls ask for their milk warmed. I know it’s just a habit of theirs, but I think they are nuts. Personally, a cold beer sounds good to me.

We are having a lazy afternoon, trying to hide from the heat. Vanessa is sweating, um, I mean, napping, while Katelyn and I hang out on the couch snacking and watching a movie. Peaceful!

I’m super excited right now! I just signed up for a photography class. Bill gave me a fabulous camera for Christmas to fuel a passion of mine, but even though I’ve read the camera’s manual cover to cover, I still feel like an amateur when I use it. The last photography class I took was years and years ago in college, so it will be wonderful to relearn how to use my camera. I am not betting that it will make my pictures turn out any better, but am hoping at least that it will make me feel better about taking pictures. I’ve been looking around for a class, but unless I want to spend every Saturday for 12 weeks, there’s not many options out there…that is until I found this class. It is one afternoon with a professional photographer in a very small group setting (like 4 people). It should be fun.

I wanted to cry from frustration, hide from embarrassment, and laugh from the chaos of it all

The girls and I went on several errands yesterday; nothing out of the ordinary. We were all having a good time, everyone’s ears were “on”, and a red balloon was waiting for us as soon as we got through the check-out line. That was until we visited Trader Joe’s. To be more specific, the egg section of Trader Joe’s. We then lost the privilege of the red balloon. And yes, there were eggs on the floor.

Cute Words

Katelyn has a very good grasp of the English language and always has since the day she started talking. Most of the time, she uses the proper tense and word. But once in a while, she reminds me that she is only four years old and still learning. Here are a few of her recent “words” that have made me smile…

Merry O Round = Merry Go Round
Driving Wheel = Steering Wheel
Pack Out = Unpack
Flipper-Over = Spatula
Breader = Toaster

And somehow, our family has taken the term “backpack” to mean a “piggy back ride”. Not sure who started this cute phrase, but it stuck.

Time for a vacation

Over the last few weeks, during the drive to Vanessa’s therapy sessions, she becomes very verbal about how much she doesn’t want to go. It has never been like this before. Previously, she was always happy and willing to go and was very excited about getting a lollipop or sticker afterwards. But now, she cries all the way over there and repeats “No therapy”; “Go home”; “No play with friends” (although with much less pronunciation). Once she gets there, she has a good time and comes out happy and without tears. It just pulls on my heart stings to see her upset about something that should be a positive experience.

What’s changed to make her so unhappy about going?
I'm in there with her during her sessions and know what's going on and it's not overly pressured or stressful.

Is she afraid that she might miss out on something fun?
She knows Katelyn is not in school right now, but we always wait until after her session is over to go somewhere so she isn't being left behind.

Is she mentally exhausted from the steady therapy sessions?
Perhaps.

I don’t second-guess any of our decisions about reaching out for help when we realized she needed it. Since we started this process, we’ve seen enormous improvements and leaps and bounds in her development. I would not want to imagine where she would be without the assistance she has received so far. But when is enough enough? When does a two year old know that she needs a break? When do you trust and respect the opinion and feelings of your child? I am not saying that I am willing to give up on her therapy completely, because in many ways, that would be a disservice to her. But perhaps an extended vacation is what she needs.

As different as...

I often get the question, since having two daughters who are close in age, if they are similar in personality and preferences. Umm…no. No, not at all, to be honest. Don’t get me wrong, there are some similarities between them, like they are both girls and came from the same two parents. But other than that, they are as different as night and day, salt and pepper, apples and oranges. And I’m not talking developmental differences. I’m describing differences of what they like, how they do things, what they prefer. Here’s what I’m talking about…(Sorry these columns are not lined up nice and straights. I have been working to get them that way and have been having some problems, but figured you'd get my point anyways)

Katelyn -------------------------Vanessa
Deli sandwiches ------------------ Chicken Nuggets
Apples without the skin ---------- Skin of an apple only, no apple flesh
Milk ----------------------------- Water
Curious George ------------------ Clifford
Doesn’t mind her hair in her eyes -- Does not like her hair in her eyes
Headband or nothing in her hair --Clips or ponytail in her hair
Tomatoes ------------------------Carrots
Experiences the entire playground -- Will swing for the entire trip to the park
Fresh fruit ------------------------Freeze-dried fruit
Books -----------------------------Movies
Fudgesicles -----------------------Juice popsicles
Poses for the camera --------------Shy for the camera
Ready to start her day as soon as
her eyes open in the morning ------Takes her time waking up in the morning
Skittles ----------------------------Red Vines
Does not like gummy worms -------Loves gummy worms
Raisins ----------------------------Dried Blueberries
Eats potatoes ----------------------Wants potatoes on her plate, but won’t eat them
Nothing spicy ---------------------- Everything spicy

Summer is here

Summer is here! Well, it’s really not “Summer” for a few more days, but school is out and our wonderful relaxed schedule is here. The month of May was EXTREMELY busy – busier than normal, it felt – as I attended my sister’s bachelorette weekend getaway, my sister got married and all that that wonderful occasion brings to the family, we spent some time with extended family for a long weekend, I organized Katelyn’s end-of-year school picnic (which approximately 400 people attended!), and Bill traveled on-and-off throughout all of this.

So once school was out, I decided that I deserved a much needed break, not a "real" vacation, but just time off from life, if there can even be such a thing. I haven’t been glued to my computer as I usually am, but instead I’ve been gluing sprinkles onto colored paper with my girls. We visited several fun children’s stores and stocked up on some new games, puzzles, and craft supplies. I make it a goal to take a walk every day and spend time outside sitting in the driveway drawing beautiful chalk pictures.

I thought a lot about putting Katelyn into summer camps or classes this summer, as a parent there is so much pressure to have your children in the right activities and continuously busy – or at least it feels like there is so much pressure. When people ask what you are doing with your child this summer and you respond with, “nothing structured or planned”, you get a blank look back, like I am depriving my child of the unforgettable experience of summer camp. But she is only four years old and has lots of summers ahead of here. So I opted not to. Instead, except for a half-hour swim lesson in the morning, she is a free girl. And since Vanessa’s schedule will remain consistent during the summer months, she will be in sessions in the morning three days per week, but unscheduled the rest of the days. This is perfect, because it gives us the time and opportunity to take day trips and explore the world around us.

I bought a book last week of activities around the area, all specifically gears towards children. Katelyn and I made a list, prior to purchasing the book, of places we want to visit and things we want to do (like making popsicles, which we’ve done twice now!). So now our adventures are endless. And what I’m most excited about is getting in the car after swim lessons and therapy have finished for the morning and asking the girls “what should we do today?” And being open-minded about our outings and not setting limits or worrying about every little detail. So we buy lunch out…so what? As long as we have a diaper, and maybe a sun hat and sunscreen, we’re ready. Whether it’s a trip to the aquarium, making a craft project or taking a picnic in the park, I cannot wait to see where we go, what we learn, and the memories we will make over these next few months.

They come with so many features

Continuing from my post below…

The other day, I asked the girls to “turn on” their ears as we were about to head into a store and I wanted it to be a successful trip. Katelyn then proceeds to tell Vanessa that she now needs a key to “turn on” her ears and that Katelyn is holding the key for her. She gives Vanessa the key, allowing Vanessa to “turn” them on. And then Vanessa hands Katelyn the key back. I smiled at this very clever imagination my girls have and thought that that would be the last time I saw the key.

Nope, now they need a key every time they turn their ears “on”.

And today, they informed me that their ears have volume control too.

Making her own rules

When I need to get the girls attention, or really want them to listen to what I am saying, I’ll ask them to “turn their ears on”. They both reach towards each ear and make a “click” sound, signaling that they are on. It’s something that they both picked up on their own and think it’s hilarious that they can turn their ears “on”.

Yesterday, Vanessa realized that she could turn them “off” too.

We were in the middle of the grocery store and she decided to get out of the cart and take a walk. I don’t mind her walking around, but as long as she stays near and that I can see her. But we were in the produce section and I can never see her on the other side of the tall displays so asked her to stay close by. She stopped, looked at me, reached up towards each ear and gave each ear a “click”. She said “off”, turned around and walked away.

Happy Birthday!

Before 7:00 AM yesterday, Katelyn came to me in bed and asked, “Can I wake up Daddy and tell him Happy Birthday?” I was very tempted to let her wake him up…how many people get a birthday kiss from an adorable little girl BEFORE 7 AM? But, since it was his birthday, I made her wait until 7:30 AM. So generous of me, I know.

We had a wonderful family day yesterday celebrating Bill’s birthday. We took in a leisurely picnic at the park, played on the playground and followed-up at home with a nap. We haven’t taken a day like that in a very long time; one of those days where you don’t worry about the laundry, the dog-hair balls growing in the corner or the never-ending to-do list. We just enjoyed spending time as a family, laughing and playing.

And for dinner, we officially welcomed in spring: we pulled out the BBQ and cooked up some tri-tip. The girls severed Bill a delicious Angel-food cake covered with whip cream and berries. And the special treasure he received was a birthday crown, made especially for him by Katelyn and Vanessa. He proudly wore it ALL DAY!

Cheers for a bright year, full of dreams. I love you.

Special Time

Ever since my girls were infants, I have cherished our special time in the rocking chair. It is a great place to read books, snuggle, or comfort a tear. Now that Katelyn is a “big girl”, she doesn’t need, or ask, to be rocked every night like she did when she was “little”. But she knows that it is still a special place for her and me. Tonight when I was tucking her into bed, she asked, “Mommy, when I am 100, will you still be able to rock me?” “Of course,” I responded. “Forever and ever.” I figure with the advanced medical technology we have today, anything is possible. I may be rocking her from my wheelchair, but at least we’ll still have our special time together.

For those with passion

"Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. It is no more or less than faith in action." - Henry Chester

Striving to grow

How does one go from being a "strong woman" to a "woman of strength"?

This is something that I am always struggling with. I know this question is focused primarily towards my female readers, but I would be interested in listening to a guy's perspective too. This is a rather personal topic, so instead of opening up this post for comments, if you have insight to share, please e-mail me. Please help me grow...

Valuable Resources: Books

At Katelyn’s four-year check up, her doctor advised us that it was time we start the serious conversations about privacy and your body belonging to you, as well as stranger-awareness. Two difficult topics to discuss with a little one. Where do we begin? Books, of course, I thought. It has been a very gentle way to introduce these topics. It is nice to use a book to be able to relate it to her, in her own world and from her perspective.

We always read to our children, and were even before they could understand our words. We are trying to instill the value of reading with them. Therefore, I am always on the lookout for new books. I was recently sharing with a friend a book that I’ve been reading and it came to mind that we are each other’s best resources for good reading material. I would never recommend a book that I didn’t enjoy or grow from and assume that she probably wouldn’t either. And no one has enough time to read the millions and millions of books out there.

So why not share your good reads with others? As we all continue in our own journeys, we will each come across new experiences. Perhaps a book listed here – or recommended by one of you- could help another person out. I’ve posted (in the right-hand side bar) several of my family’s favorite books and will continue to update with new favorites. If you have some favorites yourself, let me know and I’ll add them to the list.

Progress

Vanessa’s vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds right now. Pronunciation is still difficult, but we now can get two-word-sentences. Occasionally, if she really wants to send me into shock, she’ll throw out a three-word-sentence. I firmly believe that her early intervention is completely responsible for her progress. I wouldn’t want to imagine where she would be without having received any type of assistance.

But given all of this, she has several one-word-sentences that just make me smile.
Nonut = Donut
Nasty = Said when looping at her poop
Oman = When being dramatic about something she did
Icky = Snot. She usually says it when she is showing/giving me the snot on her finger.

Heaven Sent

I met Grant last night and rocked him for over an hour!

Precious.