An adventure that changed my life forever

The finish line...60 miles later!

In November 2011, my dad and I participated in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk, helping raise awareness and funds to help find a cure for breast cancer.  This was not something that I had before, never having participating in anything more adventurous than my own family outings.  Seriously, what was I thinking by agreeing to walk 60 miles and raise $2,300? And since I didn’t decide to do this until the end of August, I only had about two and a half months to train…and let me tell you, by no means was I in poor health, but was my body prepared to handle the strain of all of those miles?  Probably not.  So I got myself a new pair of shoes and walked over 150 miles from my first training walk to my last just days before the start of the event. 

I was overwhelmed at the outpouring of support and love shown to me as I prepared to walk 60 miles. I thought my emotional journey would end once I had reached my financial goal and the physical journey would begin. However, I was completely surprised to realize that my emotional journey was only just beginning.

It was pouring rain as we completed the last few miles and throughout the closing ceremonies, but we were all smiles!

I've been asked how difficult it was to walk 60 miles, how tired was I, how did I prepare my body for the adventure, why would I participate in something like this. The answer...just like on any other journey in life, you put one foot in front of the other and keep on going. There was no quitting option for me, not even a desire too. Was I tired? Yes. But I got up the next day and did it again, and then again. Why?

I knew when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer of 2011 that I could not just sit back and feel hopeless while she fights. I had gone through those feelings before when I watched my sister-in-law Jennifer fight and finally loose her battle to melanoma. Currently, my Aunt is fighting against breast cancer. She, too, received this terrible news recently and has undergone surgery to remove the cancer. She is healing from her invasive surgery and then will begin aggressive radiation. We are praying for her full recovery.

So many women, and men, have battled this horrible disease. Some have won, like my mom and mother-in-law (who fought and won 20 years ago). Some haven't been so lucky. Like the wife of an elderly man I met during my walk in November. He just happened to be at the same intersection that we were and we started talking to him. Once he realized what we were doing, he was overwhelmed with emotion as he told us about his wife that he had recently lost to breast cancer and the fight that she went through.

As my dad and I walked up and down throughout San Diego (who knew it’s such a hilly city?!), we came across a group surrounding a wheel chair being pushed by a frail-looking lady, wearing a cap covering her bare head. Yes, she too was on this adventure while she was fighting in her own personal journey. We crossed a bridge lined with survivors cheering us on, as we knew the fight that each one had taken. We walked behind a father and his two children all wearing shirts honoring the angel they have lost to this horrible disease, their wife/mother.

So why walk? Why, not? I do, because others can no longer.

And because I have three young daughters who will hopefully never have to endure this fight. And for my friends, their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and aunts who are currently in the fight or perhaps have lost their battle...I walk in their honor.

In just 9 weeks, I’ll be walking again.  This year, I'll be walking in San Francisco; again I’ve chosen another hilly city!  Perhaps next year I’ll choose a location in the flatter part of the country!  I’ve been slightly overwhelmed with our housing situation that I haven’t really even begun to train.  However, I am much more aware of my activity level, my eating habits, and my lifestyle and, having participated once in this event, I feel more confident in my ability.

I’ve decided that while I can and am able too, that meaningful charity work needs to be a part of my life.  Giving to others who cannot provide for themselves, raising awareness for a respectable cause, doing random acts of kindness…all of those wonderful things that we hear someone else doing and always think how fabulous it would be to do something like that our self.  Those are the things that I want to do and the example that I want to set for my children.  We are not entitled to the life we have (whoa, entitlement…now there’s a topic for another lengthy discussion!), but have been blessed and, someday when I leave Earth, I want to leave it feeling good about what I’ve contributed to society. 

If you'd like more information on the walk, visit: www.the3day.org

Mother's Tea

Friday afternoon was Vanessa's Mother's Tea in her class.  All of the moms were invited in for a little celebration in honor of moms.  It was a beautiful way to begin the weekend.  Vanessa wrote a little story for me, made a beautiful bracelets that I proudly wore all afternoon, and we shared a yummy treat.  It was really special spending some quality one-on-one time with her.  I'm amazed at Vanessa's growth this year and am having a hard time realizing that in just a few short weeks, she'll officially be a First grader. She has bloomed more and more with each passing day, has become more social with her peers, and has gained confidence that blows me away.

 

I recently read somewhere that as a mother, our days are long and busy, but the years go by fast.  So true!  Every day I say I cannot wait for bedtime to come because I'm just exhausted from the long day.  But then they all are asleep and the house is quiet (just like it is now!) and I realize that someday I'm going to miss these young years.  I know for some moms, they cannot wait for their children to grow up and move on.  But I'm really enjoying being a mom, love it's challenges, and cannot wait to spend each day with my kids.  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of days where I am just so "spent" that I cannot do anything but put everyone (including myself) in a timeout.  But it's usually in those moments, just after yelling at them to stop fighting and my throat starts to hurt from yelling over their screams, that I'm aware that this day too shall pass and tomorrow will be anew.  And before I know it, all three will be in school full time and then off to college and out on their own.  I cannot wait for them to develop into confident independent women and right now my days are incredible long and busy, but I wish I could slow them down just a little and enjoy these childhood days a little longer. 

She is 6, not 16!

Dear Fashion Designers,

I'm trying to stay on top of my ever-fast-growing children making sure that they are fully clothes in appropriate-sized outfits. Since they are constantly growing, I feel like I am always having to purchase new clothes. Furthermore, our seasons have changed, once again, and now I need to start to prepare for Summer, which means new shorts and shirts, skirts and dresses to buy. I appreciate a well-made item, especially one that is from a good piece of material that I know will handled even the toughest days outside in the dirt and handle the many washings it will have to go through.

However, here is where my struggle begins. I do not want to pay an arm-and-a-leg for ONE piece of clothing. But if I don't, I get shotty quality and material, not to mention inappropriate items. So I'm asking for good-quality, age-appropriate clothing. Demanding, I know. But really, is it too much to ask?

My child is 6 years old and therefore, should dress like a 6 year old. She is not 16 and in High School. She is in KINDERGARTEN. Therefore, I expect her to dress and look like one. She should not be wearing a barely-there swim suit or a t-shirt that says "I'm Hot" or have a need to be covered from head-to-toe in bling. Don't get me wrong, bling is nice, but there is an appropriate age and place for it. But she does not need to be wearing a mini or short-shorts or a tube-top. Please, I wouldn't even wear these things, why would you think I would let my daughter wear them! Where are they bright colors and cute designs? Where are the rainbows and hearts? What about dots or plaids or stripes? Why does everything have to have that already-wore-and-washed-a-million-times look or have a fringed hem?

I know I ask a lot, but I cannot believe that I am the only mom out there who feels like this. Look to higher-end lines for some ideas. Hannah Andersson, Boden or Gymboree are perfect examples...adorable age-appropriate fun outfits, full of color and fun patters and designs. Yes, I could shop these stores exclusively and I am starting to head that way, but replacing a child's wardrobe every few months gets costly. I'm sure there will be a time and a place for what you are producing for young children, but not now. Give them a few years and let them be kids. What's the rush to make them grow up so fast?

Sincerely,
A fashion-conscious and, apparently, conservative, Mom

How I love thee…

Projectile vomit, I love thee. Chunks of breast milk, you add to my attire so well.

Maria, I love thee. You emptied the diaper pail and cleaned the oven without my asking; you are heavenly sent.

Summer days, I love thee. Smells of sunscreen and the pool penetrate my skin; late afternoon naps and treats elongate our days; time outside lets us burn our endless energy…if only it could be summer every day.

Drum Sticks, I love thee. I reconnected with you awhile back during my pregnancy and haven’t been able to leave your side since.

Summertime fruit, so sweet and flavorful, I love thee. You make me feel better about my Drum Stick addiction.

My Ergo, I love thee. You allow me to snuggle with Paige and still wipe someone else’s bum; you are a handy helper.

So many thoughts going on in there

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there! It has only taken me a week to get this posted, but nonetheless, I’m sending each of you mommies out there my love, support and encouragement through each day.

The past few weeks have been completely filled with emotions and long days and lots of decision making. We are now back to our “normal” routine, probably only to have it interrupted when Baby Girl decides to make her grand entrance.

Last Saturday, May 9th, was Jennifer’s 32nd birthday and her celebration of her resurrection. We had a full mass, filled with up-lifting contemporary music, followed by a Halloween party. Yes, I did state that correctly. Halloween was her favorite holiday and she had always said that she wanted a Halloween-themed party for her memorial service reception. So that is exactly what we did. This was no cookies and punch reception. There were black and orange balloons and table cloths, spider webs on the walls, tables filled with costume accessories (so the guests could dress themselves in costume), and wonderful food inspired by the Halloween/Thanksgiving meals. We had fall-colored Gerber Daisies in vases filled with black rocks as center pieces and tables filled with memorabilia of Jen’s life, plus photo collages and a slide show. Who would have thought that we could have pulled off a Halloween party in May? Oh, but we did…Jen would have loved it!

I mourn the loss of Jen’s life, yet am comforted to know that she is no longer in pain – that she will never have to endure another surgery or rounds of chemo treatments or any of the numerous side effects that go along with cancer. I know that we will never understand why God took her so young. I wish that no one should have to go through what she endured and I pray that someday, the medical world can provide a cure to this horrible disease.

I have received cards and phone calls from some wonderful dear friends offering their love and support to my family. The fact that you have taken the time to reach out shows so much love and fills our hearts with peace.

I have also received several questions about Jennifer and her cancer, so let me try to summarize….

Jennifer was my sister-in-law; married to my brother. She had been fighting melanoma cancer for the last six years and finally lost her battle at the early age of 31 – just a week before her 32nd birthday. Her cancer was the aggressive skin cancer kind, where usually someone diagnosed with this kind has only a few short months to live. For some miraculous reason, we were given Jennifer for almost another 6 years. During this time, she had numerous surgeries and rounds and rounds of chemotherapy treatments. A few months back, she decided that enough was enough and that the cancer was spreading so rapidly that is was time to look at alternative treatments and be thankful for what time she had been given. Well, God granted her six months.

This has been no easy process for my brother and Jennifer to go through. And now, we watch and try to support my brother as he picks up the pieces and learns how to cope without Jennifer in his life. No matter how long you’ve been “expecting” this too eventually happen, you are never fully prepared, nor even really ever expect it to happen. There has always been one more surgery or another round of chemo to try. And then when it finally does happen, you are left speechless. Personally, I haven’t been able to understand why God chose that 31 year old and not this 31 year old? Why did He grant me the ability to bear lives and see them grow, but not her? Why did he decide that she needed to struggle health-wise, but not me? I know that I will never find answers to these questions, but these are the thoughts that are left running through my mind. And somehow, I’ll have to find a way to come to peace with it all.

Jennifer was not a sun-lover or tanning-bed regular, as you would think is necessary to have gotten skin cancer. But the sun loved her. And as a result, cancer entered her body.

Today, my girls do not know of a life outdoors without proper sun protection. Sunscreen, hats and sun-shirts are mandatory in our home. We love the outdoors during all of the seasons. With summer upon us shortly, we are even more diligent now, although you can get sun exposure all year round (ever see a snow skier with the funny goggle tan/burn on their face?). We do not want to be house-bound because of a fear of the sun, yet we want to be responsible when we do enjoy our time outdoors. I am in the process of writing a newsletter for my children’s school, to help educate other parents on sun protection. It is too often thought that just 15 minutes in the sun won’t cause any harm or that “my child has an olive complexion, so there is less risk of a sun burn” or the sun isn’t that bright today. There is no excuse for parent ignorance, especially when it comes to possibility endangering our children. As soon as I complete this letter, I will post it here, as hopefully it will be informative for you and your family. In the meantime, don’t forget your sunscreen and hat!

My week, so far...

Monday: I am told that I am this > < close to being put on bed rest. Sorry doctor, cannot be an option.

Tuesday: Vanessa dislocates her elbow again. We end up in the ER.

Wednesday: Riley has another seizure. His third in seven weeks.

Thursday: Come on Thursday, don't let me down now. I love this excitement.

Costco is to me like oil is to vinegar

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I the lone soldier out there that does not have an unconditional love for this store? I am completely perplexed by the world’s infatuation with this “shopping wonderland”. Really, can you use that entire four-pound jar of mayo before it expires? And only if you are serving hot dogs to 1000 people can you use up all three bottles of ketchup you are forced to buy.

A shopping trip should be relaxing, rather than stress-field, as you try to avoid those huge carts as they come straight at you or stop suddenly in front of you. Yes, those big carts, the ones that are so big they could hold a SMART car. And what happens if they move an item? Oh, now you’re screwed. Now, they’ve got you for an extra thirty minutes trapped in their “wonderland” as you search up and down every aisle trying to locate your item. Is there anyone you can quickly turn to for some exceptional customer service? Nope. Inevitably though, as you are standing in a checkout line of ten people deep, you see a gentleman unloading that specific item you searched unsuccessfully for, only to run up to him, beg him to tell you where he found it. Dilemma hits – do you run back and find that obscurely hidden item, losing your place in line; or do you forgot about it knowing that you’ll look for it on your next shopping trip, only to discover that the helpful customer service personal have moved it again.

But you know, they have us wrapped around their golden little finger. They know we’ll wait in line or spend two hours searching for the items on our list, always buying more than the actual number of items you came in the store for. Those impulse buys – “this is the best deal of the century” or “look at how this works – it’s amazing” or “we could really use this” -- those “super buys” – always make you drop more change than you saved.

Who really wants to spend their Saturday working-out? After all, pushing a cart that weighs the equivalent of three football players and loading and unloading and loading and unloading pounds is going to build some body muscle. For me, I like to go when I want to go, but since this store closes before the sun sets, they force you to go when it is probably the most inconvenient. I like to have the option to shop when the moon is up if I want or before it’s time for lunch.

I know you can save some money and it is convenient to purchase milk by the truck load and cases of diapers, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’ll probably be visiting Costco next week and for the weeks to come until we are empty-nesters. On second-thought, perhaps it’s a good thing that I can purchase alcohol there in bulk. :-)

A few thoughts

Even with the outside temperatures hovering around 100 degrees, my girls ask for their milk warmed. I know it’s just a habit of theirs, but I think they are nuts. Personally, a cold beer sounds good to me.

We are having a lazy afternoon, trying to hide from the heat. Vanessa is sweating, um, I mean, napping, while Katelyn and I hang out on the couch snacking and watching a movie. Peaceful!

I’m super excited right now! I just signed up for a photography class. Bill gave me a fabulous camera for Christmas to fuel a passion of mine, but even though I’ve read the camera’s manual cover to cover, I still feel like an amateur when I use it. The last photography class I took was years and years ago in college, so it will be wonderful to relearn how to use my camera. I am not betting that it will make my pictures turn out any better, but am hoping at least that it will make me feel better about taking pictures. I’ve been looking around for a class, but unless I want to spend every Saturday for 12 weeks, there’s not many options out there…that is until I found this class. It is one afternoon with a professional photographer in a very small group setting (like 4 people). It should be fun.