Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there! It has only taken me a week to get this posted, but nonetheless, I’m sending each of you mommies out there my love, support and encouragement through each day.
The past few weeks have been completely filled with emotions and long days and lots of decision making. We are now back to our “normal” routine, probably only to have it interrupted when Baby Girl decides to make her grand entrance.
Last Saturday, May 9th, was Jennifer’s 32nd birthday and her celebration of her resurrection. We had a full mass, filled with up-lifting contemporary music, followed by a Halloween party. Yes, I did state that correctly. Halloween was her favorite holiday and she had always said that she wanted a Halloween-themed party for her memorial service reception. So that is exactly what we did. This was no cookies and punch reception. There were black and orange balloons and table cloths, spider webs on the walls, tables filled with costume accessories (so the guests could dress themselves in costume), and wonderful food inspired by the Halloween/Thanksgiving meals. We had fall-colored Gerber Daisies in vases filled with black rocks as center pieces and tables filled with memorabilia of Jen’s life, plus photo collages and a slide show. Who would have thought that we could have pulled off a Halloween party in May? Oh, but we did…Jen would have loved it!
I mourn the loss of Jen’s life, yet am comforted to know that she is no longer in pain – that she will never have to endure another surgery or rounds of chemo treatments or any of the numerous side effects that go along with cancer. I know that we will never understand why God took her so young. I wish that no one should have to go through what she endured and I pray that someday, the medical world can provide a cure to this horrible disease.
I have received cards and phone calls from some wonderful dear friends offering their love and support to my family. The fact that you have taken the time to reach out shows so much love and fills our hearts with peace.
I have also received several questions about Jennifer and her cancer, so let me try to summarize….
Jennifer was my sister-in-law; married to my brother. She had been fighting melanoma cancer for the last six years and finally lost her battle at the early age of 31 – just a week before her 32nd birthday. Her cancer was the aggressive skin cancer kind, where usually someone diagnosed with this kind has only a few short months to live. For some miraculous reason, we were given Jennifer for almost another 6 years. During this time, she had numerous surgeries and rounds and rounds of chemotherapy treatments. A few months back, she decided that enough was enough and that the cancer was spreading so rapidly that is was time to look at alternative treatments and be thankful for what time she had been given. Well, God granted her six months.
This has been no easy process for my brother and Jennifer to go through. And now, we watch and try to support my brother as he picks up the pieces and learns how to cope without Jennifer in his life. No matter how long you’ve been “expecting” this too eventually happen, you are never fully prepared, nor even really ever expect it to happen. There has always been one more surgery or another round of chemo to try. And then when it finally does happen, you are left speechless. Personally, I haven’t been able to understand why God chose that 31 year old and not this 31 year old? Why did He grant me the ability to bear lives and see them grow, but not her? Why did he decide that she needed to struggle health-wise, but not me? I know that I will never find answers to these questions, but these are the thoughts that are left running through my mind. And somehow, I’ll have to find a way to come to peace with it all.
Jennifer was not a sun-lover or tanning-bed regular, as you would think is necessary to have gotten skin cancer. But the sun loved her. And as a result, cancer entered her body.
Today, my girls do not know of a life outdoors without proper sun protection. Sunscreen, hats and sun-shirts are mandatory in our home. We love the outdoors during all of the seasons. With summer upon us shortly, we are even more diligent now, although you can get sun exposure all year round (ever see a snow skier with the funny goggle tan/burn on their face?). We do not want to be house-bound because of a fear of the sun, yet we want to be responsible when we do enjoy our time outdoors. I am in the process of writing a newsletter for my children’s school, to help educate other parents on sun protection. It is too often thought that just 15 minutes in the sun won’t cause any harm or that “my child has an olive complexion, so there is less risk of a sun burn” or the sun isn’t that bright today. There is no excuse for parent ignorance, especially when it comes to possibility endangering our children. As soon as I complete this letter, I will post it here, as hopefully it will be informative for you and your family. In the meantime, don’t forget your sunscreen and hat!
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