It is mind-blowing to me how fast this last year has gone. In many ways, it is rather scary to me how fast each day goes by and how quickly life changes. i just realized that my last post was in February...as in THREE months ago!! Yes, that was many, many, many days and weeks ago. And it's not like nothing has happened in our lives to share, in face just the opposite. But something inside of me was just stuck on auto-pilot on surviving each day and not really thriving. We've been extremely busy, but what family with young children and a busy husband and my own activities isn't? And yes, I could beat myself up for not having even posted the girls birthday letters from January or sharing all about our surprise trip for their birthdays or milestones Paige has reached. What good would that do for anyone, especially for me? So, here I sit on a Saturday night with three little girls asleep and Bill out visiting some old friends and had an urge to pick up the laptop and start writing.
Today marks the one year anniversary of our loss of Jennifer. ONE YEAR. In many ways, it just seems like yesterday, but then I'll stop for a moment and reflect back on all that has happened this last year - Paige was born and she is now almost one year old; Vanessa has turned into a social butterfly; Katelyn is almost a first grader. We miss Jen and remember her often, but also know that she is in a better place. Recently my mom was helping my brother go through some of Jen's clothing and since I am similar in size to what Jen was, I was given some of her clothing. In a jacket that I was given, I wore it out one night and put my hand into the pocket. Inside, I found a ticket stub to one of the last hockey games that she had gone too. Finding this stub made me pause and reflect for a moment, because I know how much she LOVED her hockey and that she wore this jacket to see her team play. And perhaps it was her way of telling me that she is still around and with us. I kept the stub and have it hanging on my fridge, so that I am reminded of her every time I see it.
I feel like I owe it to my girls to go back a few months and capture in print where I left off. I cannot put everything else on hold to get it done, but am going to make a valid attempt. I do this site, not so that I write about the color of the lint in my belly-button, which by the way is lint-free, but so that my girls have a journal of their lives and we can share it all with you, our family and friends. I've never been good at baby-books; I don't scrapbook; I struggle to stay current on e-mails; and it's a challenge to make time for phone calls. Here at least I can record some of the highs and lows of life and hopefully you'll laugh with us on this crazy journey.
Today marks the one year anniversary of our loss of Jennifer. ONE YEAR. In many ways, it just seems like yesterday, but then I'll stop for a moment and reflect back on all that has happened this last year - Paige was born and she is now almost one year old; Vanessa has turned into a social butterfly; Katelyn is almost a first grader. We miss Jen and remember her often, but also know that she is in a better place. Recently my mom was helping my brother go through some of Jen's clothing and since I am similar in size to what Jen was, I was given some of her clothing. In a jacket that I was given, I wore it out one night and put my hand into the pocket. Inside, I found a ticket stub to one of the last hockey games that she had gone too. Finding this stub made me pause and reflect for a moment, because I know how much she LOVED her hockey and that she wore this jacket to see her team play. And perhaps it was her way of telling me that she is still around and with us. I kept the stub and have it hanging on my fridge, so that I am reminded of her every time I see it.
I feel like I owe it to my girls to go back a few months and capture in print where I left off. I cannot put everything else on hold to get it done, but am going to make a valid attempt. I do this site, not so that I write about the color of the lint in my belly-button, which by the way is lint-free, but so that my girls have a journal of their lives and we can share it all with you, our family and friends. I've never been good at baby-books; I don't scrapbook; I struggle to stay current on e-mails; and it's a challenge to make time for phone calls. Here at least I can record some of the highs and lows of life and hopefully you'll laugh with us on this crazy journey.
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