Getting over guilt

I was visiting one of my dearest friends a few months ago and she told me to just start writing…write about our visit, or anything to just get over the fact that I’ve completely ignored this part of my life for so long. That was in September 2011. It is now February 2012. But here I am, writing, finally! Where I have been and what have we been doing for the last two years? So many
questions and probably not enough answers.

I was recently digging around on my computer and came across the post below that never actually was posted. I could say I have no idea why I never posted, but that would just be more excuses and I really don’t like excuses. Here's what I had the best intentions of posting back in September 2010...

Well how about that?
I blink and time passes…and I’m not talking about a few seconds, but like months and months. We are all still here and growing and changing as quickly as possible. So fast, that I seem to have very little time lately to write down memories, which just makes me feel soooo guilty. But either I’m going to sit here and have a glass of wine and wallow in my self-induced guilt, or I’m going to start typing again.

So here I go, again…

With drink in hand… Oh, speaking of wine, I’ve discovered a new tasty beverage that Bill and I have been enjoying lately. It’s a spin-off of a drink I had at a restaurant recently – light and refreshing, not too strong on the alcohol nor too heavy to drink. You mix Elderflower
liquor, club soda and lemon Italian soda. If you want it a bit sweeter, add champagne. It’s yummy!

Sorry, back to where I was headed…oh yah…and no guilt…We spent the majority of the summer at the lake, which is always such a blessing. The girls can run all day long and get filthy dirty and have the best time doing so. We rode horses, went on long bike rides, paddled kayaks and paddle-boats, went for walks, hung out at the beach, played miniature golf, had picnics, ate ice cream (a lot!), made s’mores over the new outdoor fire-pit, camped in the backyard, made ice cream, went out on the lake, visited with family, went up the gondola, and took the trolley on outings. I’m sure there are more things I’ve forgotten, as each day was extremely busy and full of adventures.

Paige:
She is now 15 months old and has 7 teeth. Her eighth is just starting to break through, so that’s been fun! She took her first few “real” steps at our friend’s Rusty and Jen’s going away party in mid-July and she’s been nonstop since then. She loves to try to keep up with her sisters and actually does a pretty good job at it. Paige is a happy girl and loves her baths, playing, snuggling, dancing, and “driving” her car (including pushing the horn, a.k.a. the beep-beep). She
communicates very well and has a few words – Mama, Dada, dog, book, ball, milk, done, more, no, shoe, hat, up…of course, all are pronounced in her dialect but understandable nonetheless. She understands conversations and is able to follow directions. Her hair is blonde-blonde and curly in the back…both things that the other girls never had.

Vanessa:
At four and a half years old, my dresses-only-wearing girl, is full of energy and spunk, yet has a real compassionate and nurturing side. All day long, she goes and goes and goes, until her head hits the pillow and then literately, she is asleep in about 30 seconds. She is a busy girl,
attending gymnastic and ballet classes and is in a pre-K class every afternoon. Attending school every day is a new experience for her and one that I wasn’t so sure of. But she is a child who needs consistency and repetition, as well as socialization with peers her own age. It’s only been a week and so far she seems to be handling it alright….tired, but always ready for the next day. A few weeks ago, she swam across the swimming pool all by herself, which was just awesome to watch. She took lessons at the beginning of the summer, but then we headed to the lake so didn’t get much pool time after that. But since being back, she seems to have picked up right where she left off in her lessons and really enjoys swimming. Vanessa has a very soft side to her, one that most people probably don’t notice too often. When someone gets hurt, she is the first person to run and get the ice pack or a band-aid or if needed, an adult. To Vanessa, a band-aid makes everything better, so I’ve started purchasing band-aids at Costco in the jumbo pack and
learning to let go of, what seems to me, the wastefulness use of them.

Katelyn:
My first grader! At six and a half, she is becoming a girl. I took the girls shopping the other day for a few new fall outfits. Usually, I purchase online or when I’m out by myself, but I needed to go to the mall, so decided that I would just take the girls with me and let them pick a few
outfits out themselves. It brought a smile to my face as I watched Katelyn choose her outfits carefully and thoughtfully, picking items that were no longer “little girl” looking, yet
still very much age-appropriate. She loves horses and is getting very good at soccer. This is her first year on an U8 team, which brings a larger playing field, more rules to follow, goalies, positions to play, and referees. I am the coach of her team and that has brought a new experience for all of us. I was able to recruit Coach Papa, which was a blessing and when Bill is able, he helps at practices too. She recently figured out that she was able to tell time, so I guess that means no more little white lies about “only five more minutes” and then leave in two. At
least she’ll keep me honest. Katelyn is social and has lots of friends at school, playing with girls and boys. She loves her teacher and really is thriving – in all ways possible.

Bill is amazing in his position for work and seems to really be enjoying it. Assisting with
Katelyn’s soccer practices has brought back a lot of fond memories for him. He was, and still is an exceptional soccer player, so I think is eager to pass on those skills to his own children. The old soccer cleats that have been sitting in the garage for years got pulled out the other day and wash clean. He is an amazing father and watching him one-on-one with each of his daughters is rather special. His relationship with each of them is very different, and rightfully so. With Katelyn, they’ll lie in bed and read together and he is always teaching her new things,
as she is so inquisitive. With Vanessa, she calls him her snugly, as she’ll climb into out bed and snuggles up to him and you know he just loves it (even if it isn’t always the best night’s
sleep). With Paige, she just makes him smile and melts his heart.

I’m super busy with the girls and all of their activities, as well as my own volunteer work at the girls’ schools and my work on the Board of Directors that I’ve been serving on for several years now. Recently, it occurred to me that the girls’ childhood years are so few – from age 0-10 is only 10 years. They have years and years of being an adult. Since their childhood years are so few and go by very quickly, I better make the most of them and cherish every day. Perhaps that is why I enjoy being a mom so much and giving to my family as much as I give. I want each day to be full of memories and adventures for all of us. It is always something I’m working on and by no means am I even close to having it all together, but I strive to happiness.

Speaking of memories, last weekend the girls were swimming and asked for an ice cream.
Feeling generous at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, I brought one out to them, knowing that their dinner appetites wouldn’t be very big. We joked that they were having dessert before
dinner and that led into the thought of having a “backwards” night. And that is exactly what we did. After swimming and eating dessert, we took baths and put our pajamas on backwards, and then ate dinner complete with the table set backwards and then said grace at the end of the meal. It was a completely spontaneous evening, but one that was extremely funny and entertaining.

Fall is quickly approaching us – the evenings are getting darker earlier, the leaves are already starting to turn, and the weather is cooling off. The girls already have their Halloween costumes picked out and have started working on their Christmas wish-lists. The days are passing so quickly, that I need to go find some toothpicks to hold my eyes wide open so that I don’t blink as often…then perhaps I can keep current on recording our memories and adventures on this amazing journey.